last december, my old boyfriend and i went to chicago to see better than ezra at the house of blues. it was a good time, even though on the way there, i started to get sick as hell, and it only got worse. we stayed at a beautiful bed and breakfast in wicker park, and fell in love with the city.
we planned to leave sunday night, and our last stop sunday was the famous shedd aquarium. it was beautiful, but one single thing stuck in my mind.
the jellyfish.
they were in a tank on the end, and they were the most beautiful things i had ever seen. their transparency; the way they moved; the way they were colorful, yet colorless; the strange and eerie shape of their bodies suspended in water; their different sizes, some huge, some no larger than the head of a pin...i was transfixed, literally frozen, and i had to be pulled away to other people could finally enjoy the jellyfish.
i walked away amazed, and said, "you know, they are only so beautiful in that water. they are in their element. if you walked on the beach and saw a jellyfish on the sand, you'd gag. it would be one of the ugliest things you ever saw."
i tried and tried to get him to understand exactly how important this was, what exactly it meant, but in the medication and sickness brain fog, i was weak and tired, and figured i could just wait and explain it later.
later never really came.
last night, i couldn't sleep because of those jellyfish. they haunted me.
last night, i was a jellyfish. maybe i have changed a little, but lauren snapped a photo of me, and i was so surprised that i didn't look anything like i thought i would.
last november, there was an entire night's worth of photos taken of me that can only be described as "jellyfish on the beach."
this is starting to sound superficial, and that isn't the point. i need to wrap it up.
i wish more than anything that i could have felt so happy before. i really do. i don't know why i didn't, or what was different, or why i wasn't "in my element," or why i felt like that jellyfish on the beach. i just did. it still upsets me, and it will for a long time. and i'm sorry.
About Me
- Coco
- I write. I love Chihuahuas and dinosaurs. I like shopping a bit too much. I have a sweet, nerdy husband who has spiky hair and glasses. I am a raw vegan. Shoes make me happy. I do yoga. I love my readers!
2 comments:
I love how you describe the jellyfishes, puts a great picture in my brain.
I've never dreamt about jellyfish but one time I had a dream that I was walking through a classroom building when I caught a glimpse of a friend I hadn't talked to in a while in one of the classrooms. I decided to text message her to say hi and then went on my way. About an hour later (still in the dream) she called me and yelled at me because the text message I left made her cell phone ring in the middle of a test she was taking in her class, which was very surprising news to me and I felt sorry for embarrssing her.
(end dream)
Now, i tried to explain to several people why this dream is so amazing to me, and they really didn't seem to understand. It is amazing because when I decided to leave the text message I figured that she would either have her phone turned off or on vibrate. If I would have thought that her phone would ring i wouldn't have texted her right then. However, her phone was not on vibrate, it actually rang out loud in the classroom, which wouldn't be anything amazing had this whole scenario played out in real life, but the fact that it was created in my head makes it very interesting to me. At the same time I'm assuming the phone is on vibrate I'm also creating the scenario to turn out that it isn't on vibrate, and on top of that I'm SURPRISED by it!!. How can you be surprised by a story you're making up!!!??! Dreams are pretty crazy, and can be very intricate, it is pretty cool.
I'll probably dream about jellyfish tonight. Awesome story!
Post a Comment